I was twenty four or five with the weight of the world on my shoulders. My wife and I had received a son and all the pull of the world and its ways became the obstacle to living. Both of us wanting the very best for him, everyday was new to him as well as us. We had never raised a child and our desires to teach him and give him all we believed he would need, at times were overwhelming. How to make sure we did not miss a step in his upbringing was taking a lot of prayer and supplication. How else could it be done, and done correctly?

It was one of my biggest challenges, ‘How do I get him to eat correctly, God?’ was my prayer and the way God answered was simple but life changing. Every one had their advise, from punishment, by taking away what he loved, to, go to bed early with out any supper. What was I to do? My prayer to God seemed to go unanswered? Every night at supper the same scenrio would play out. Nothing, I felt, was good for him would he even consider eating. Bribes with special time we could spend together did not work, as much as he loved me, he would choose not to eat what it was I required. After every thing I could think of was put to the test, I resorted to spanking and to bed without supper. Now spanking as far as I was concerned was always the last resort. If I could not give him the understanding any other way it would be my course of action. The looks I received after and the unsureness of what I did would consume me. Was it the right thing? I had tried all else, and he must eat right or how bad would his life be and my fault because I would not resort to punishment the world used to direct her children.

He went to bed crying and I might as well have. I was so unsure?

“God, what is this challenge?”

There had to be another way, but what was it? “How will I ever reach him God, and make his will what I wanted it to be, or knew it should be?” “God please help because I am so unsure of my actions, am I in line with Your Will bringing him up in a way I know he should go?”

Or, am I trying to force his will to be mine?

The night was long for me, and my wonder, was his anquish as much as mine?

The raising of the sun would tell. I was sure to be at his side when he opened his eyes to at least assure him I still loved him, and I had come to the conclusion I would never again punish him in such a way. If he only ate what he wanted the rest of his life, I was going to be okay with that. It was going to be up to God to keep him healthy, if all he ate was butter sandwhiches.

He opened his eyes and the first words out of his mouth to his mother, “What is for supper?”

What had I done to supper time? My son anguished through the night, not wondering how he was going to do my will, but how was he going to keep from it? It was right then and there the words he spoke crucified me. The pain that came from trying to force his will to be mine I would never again know, nor would I soon forget.

And then God’s answer came as clear as the day. When someone loves you so much that they anguish over how to keep from disappointing you, they are right where God needed me to be.

Oh! To be led by a child into the kingdom!!!

I often wondered what God had thought, when Jesus asked Him, “What is going to be for the Last Supper, Father?”